I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
