it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it was like eating out sand paper
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
