Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
