I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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