So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
