I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
