you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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