Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
