I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm passing your future prison.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I touched a dick in church today
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