just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
