Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
