Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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