spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
