how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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