checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
