The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
