you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
