tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
