how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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