Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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