I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
