I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
