Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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