the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
