If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My dick has a subreddit
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
