Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just gargled with NyQuil
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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