so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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