I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
