therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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