Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
