He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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