my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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