tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
