So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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