I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
