so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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