i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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