i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize