Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
