"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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