at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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