I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
