i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
