so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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