Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
