I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
