i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
