Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
