Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
