O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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