Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
nutella sex= disaster
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
