i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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