It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
