Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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