I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
