is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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