all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
