your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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