i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
