I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
