I must be too annoying 4 u.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize