we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
