Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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